Personalized Birthday Book

You reach out to someone's friends, family, coworkers, old college roommates, whoever you can think of. You ask each of them to write a letter for this person's birthday. Some write a paragraph, some write three pages. Some include photos. One uncle writes a poem. A childhood friend tells a story nobody else remembers.

We collect all of these letters and print them into a hardcover book. When the birthday person opens it, they find 30, 50, sometimes over 100 letters from the people in their life, all written just for them. We've been making these books since 2009 and the reaction is almost always the same: tears, then laughter, then more tears, then they start reading letters out loud to whoever is nearby.

People who receive these books tell us, over and over, that it is the best gift they have ever received. We believe them. You can't buy what this book gives someone: the proof, on paper, that dozens of people took the time to sit down and say what they really feel.

We should be upfront about this: making a birthday book takes work. You have to send invitations, follow up with people who said they'd write but haven't yet, and gently remind your cousin for the third time that the deadline is next week. Writing a letter is hard, too. Most people don't write letters anymore, and sitting down to say something meaningful about someone you love takes more thought than picking something off a wishlist.

But that effort is what makes the book so valuable. When someone opens it, they can feel how much went into every page. They know that each of these people stopped what they were doing and spent real time thinking about them, finding the right words, choosing the right photo. The book exists because a lot of people cared enough to do something that was a little inconvenient. And the person holding it knows that. They feel it.

We've watched this happen thousands of times now, and the people who receive these books don't put them on a shelf and forget about them. They re-read them. They bring them out at family dinners. Years later, they still talk about the book.

A birthday book works for pretty much anyone, but some occasions lend themselves especially well:

• Milestone birthdays (30th, 40th, 50th, 60th) are perfect because you can pull in people from every phase of someone's life. The book ends up telling the story of who this person is, through the eyes of people who were there.
• A book for a parent is something special. Kids, grandchildren, siblings, old neighbors, lifelong friends. Parents almost never hear how much they're appreciated, at least not all at once like this.
• For a close friend, get the whole group involved. The letters end up full of inside jokes, old stories, and the kind of things friends only say when they sit down and actually write.
• For a partner, ask their closest people to contribute. You will learn things about the person you love that you didn't know, and so will they.
• For a coworker who's been a mentor or a boss people actually liked. Colleagues tend to write surprisingly moving letters when given the chance.

A lot of people freeze up when they're asked to write a letter. They worry it won't be good enough, or they don't know what to say. Our advice is to stop trying to write something good and just write something true.

Tell a story about something you did together. Say the thing you always think but have never actually said to them. Describe a moment when this person made your day better, even if they probably don't remember it. Be funny if you're a funny person. Add a photo if you have one that fits. It doesn't have to be long. Some of the best letters we've seen are four or five sentences.

Every letter is different, and that's what makes the book work. Some are hilarious, some make you cry, some are a little awkward in the best way. They all belong in there, and together they add up to something that no individual letter could be on its own.

You set up a book on our site and pick a delivery date. Then you invite people to contribute by sending them a link where they can write their letter and upload photos. You can track who's been invited and who's already submitted, which is helpful when it's time to send reminders (and you will send reminders).

Once the letters are in, you can personalize the book: choose a cover photo, write the title, rearrange the order of the letters. When you're happy with it, we design, print, and ship a hardcover book to you or directly to the recipient.

The whole process takes about 20 days from order to delivery, so plan ahead. And start collecting letters early. People mean well, but they procrastinate. Give them time.